Laugh Out Loud (Break the news)

The captain called Sergeant Tiger into the office.

"I just had a call from the hospital. Private Lan's mother just passed away. Please break the news to him. Please do it gently."
"Don't worry, sir. I will use tact."

Sergeant Tiger went to Lan's platoon, which was practising drill in the parade square, and yelled,
"Platoon, attention! All those whose mothers are still alive take one step backwards."

Some soldiers moved backwards.
"Keep still. Private Lan, you idiot," Screamed Sergeant Tiger.