Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

15 Funny Pictures of High Heels


Umbrella Shoes


Swimming Heels


Bulb Heels


small heels


Chair Heels


Killer Heels


Strange Heels


Tarantula


Weird


Can You See It


Double heels

Weird style


Another chair


What's that?

Banana heels


Laugh Out Loud (Fart)

A woman told her doctor,
"I have a problem, i fart all the time but my farts are noiseless and they don't smell."

The doctor wrote down a prescription and said,
"Take these for a few weel and then come back to see me."

One week later, the woman went back, complaining,
"Doctor, the pills are not helping. I still fart all the time. Even though the farts are still noiseless, they now smell terrible!. What's going on?"
"Well, now that we have taken care of your sinuses, now we can move on to your hearing."

Laugh Out Loud (Way of Thinking)

John's teacher asked him a question at school,

"There are three birds in a branch. One is shot. How many are left?"
"None", said John.

The teacher said,
"The answer ought to be two, but I like your way of thinking".

John asked the teacher,

"There a three women eating ice-cream. One is nibbling a cone, the other is bitting a cone, and the third is sucking a cone. Which one is married?"

The teacher was surprised but she said,

"The one who is sucking the cone."
"No. It is the one with a wedding ring, but i like your way of thinking!".

Laugh Out Loud (Homosexual)

A man went to see Doctor Matt for a check-up. After a series of tests, Doctor Matt sat down, looked the man in the eye and said ,

"I've got some good news and some bad news."
"What's the bad news?" asked the terrified man.
"The test have revealed that you're a latent homosexual," Doctor Matt replied gravely.
"That's TERRIBLE!" the man sobbed.
"But what's the good news then?"
"Well," replied Doctor Matt with a smile,
"I really think you're kind of cute."

Laugh Out Loud (Finger)

A man told the doctor,

"Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere i touch it hurts."
"Ok. Touch your elbow."

The man touched his elbow and winced in pain. The doctor, surprised, says,
"Touch your head".

The man touched his head and jumps in agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere the man touches he hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-Rays, etc, and tells the man to come back in three days.

Three days later, the man comes back and the doctor says,

"We've found your problem. You've broken your finger!"

Laugh Out Loud (Break the news)

The captain called Sergeant Tiger into the office.

"I just had a call from the hospital. Private Lan's mother just passed away. Please break the news to him. Please do it gently."
"Don't worry, sir. I will use tact."

Sergeant Tiger went to Lan's platoon, which was practising drill in the parade square, and yelled,
"Platoon, attention! All those whose mothers are still alive take one step backwards."

Some soldiers moved backwards.
"Keep still. Private Lan, you idiot," Screamed Sergeant Tiger.

Laugh Out Loud (Ticket)

The navy diver did not have any money to buy a ticket, but he went up to the KL train anyway, hoping to come up with an idea to avoid the ticket inspector. On the journey up, he sat opposite two commondos. and he soon found out that the two commandos only had one ticket between them.

"How are you going to pass the ticket inspector?" the diver asked.
"Oh, simple," one commando replied.
"Before  the ticket inspector comes, both of us will hide in the toilet. When he knocks on the toilet door, I will say ' Canlt come out' and slip my ticket  under the door. The ticket inspector will chop the ticket and slip it back under the door. We will then stay inside there until the inspection is over. We have don this ten times already, and it works everytime."

After a half an hour, they could hear the ticket inspector coming, and the two commandos went into the the toilet. One minute later, the heard a knock in the door,

"Ticket please."
"Can't come out, but the ticket is under the door."

The diver took the ticket from under the door and quickly walked to the other end of the train.

Laugh Out Loud (Bravery)

Three senior military officers were talking about the subject of bravery. The Army general said,
 "Gentlemen, if you want to see bravery, look at this."

The general called a private towards him and said,
"Private, attack that tank with your rifle."
"Yes,sir!" Anything you say, sir!"
With that, the young private attacked the tank, which flattened him.

The Air Force general, not to be outdone, called a pilot and said,
"MAJOR, i want you to take the chopper up to 1,000 feet and jump down without your parachute."

The pilot saluted and took his chopper up. Ten minutes later, the senior officers watched as the pilot splattered onto the ground from 1,000 feet.

The admiral took the other two men and went onboard a ship. He called out to a sailor.
"Sailor, climb to the top of the mast and jump into the sea."

The sailor looked at the admiral and shouted,
"What? Go to hell, admiral, SIR!"

The admiral turned to the others and said proudly,
"Gentlemen, now that is what i call BRAVERY!"

Laugh Out Loud (No ears)

Three man at a job interview were questioned by a human resources manager who did not have any ears.

The first man went in, and the manager told him,
"This job requires power of observation. Make one observation about me."
The first man said, "You have no ears!"
"Get out!" yelled the manager.

The second man went in, and the manager said the same thing,
"This job requires power of observation. Make one observation about me."
The second man said,"You have no ears!"
"Get out!" yelled the manager.

As the third man stood up to go in, the other two men told him,
 "The interviewer doesn't have any ears and he's very sensitive about it."

The third man thanked them two and went in. The manager repeated,

"This job requires power of observation. Make one observation about me."
The third man stared at the manager for a long time and finally said,
"You wear contact lenses."

The manager was impressed,
"Very good. Excellent observation. Tell me, how could you tell?"
"Well. you can't wear glasses," replied the third man,
"because you have no ears!"

Laugh Out Loud (Trick)

Peter wanted to play a trick on Matt.

"Peter, I will put my hand against the wall. See if you can punch it."
"What if you move your hands?" Asked Matt.
"I promise I won't".

As Matt punched, Peter moved his hands.
"Gotcha. You should not have believed me."

Matt went away, with his hand in pain. Later, he saw Rick. He wanted to play the same trick on Rick, but there was no wall around.
"Rick. I will put my hand against my face. See if you can punch it."

Laugh Out Loud (Good people)

Mael was having problems getting good people to help him. He visited his counterpart in Penang, Yusof. Yusof told him, "To get good people, you must test them before you employ them."
"How?" Mael asked.
"Just ask them a simple question, and if they can answer, then they will be alright."
Just then, Sani, Yusof's deputy walked past. Yusof told Mael, "Let me show you."
Yusof asked his deputy: "Sani, who is your son's father?"
Sani answered: "Me, of course."
 Mael was impressed. When he went back to Kuala Lumpur, he tried this test on his deputy Ling, "Ling, tell me, who is your son's father?"
Ling was puzzled. He quickly tried a delaying tactic,
"Boss, I am  busy now. I will tell you after lunch."
Ling went out and met Ah Ben the cleaner. He asked,
"Ah Ben, who is your son's father?"
Ah Ben answered: "Aiyah, so easy. Me, of course."
Ling happily went back to Mael, "Hey boss. What was the question again?"
Mael repeated, Who is your son's father?"
"Simple. It is Ah Ben, of course."
Mael tore his hair in disgust. He shouted, "No! You stupid fool. It's Sani!"

Laugh Out Loud (Honest)

Samy was an absolutely honest guy. One day, he told his friend Alan,
 "Alan, i have something to confess to you."
"Don't bother me now," Alan told him. "I am very busy."
"I must tell you, or else i will not be in peace."
"Not now! Tell me later."
"No, i cannot wait, it's about your girlfriend. I have harboured terrible thoughts about her."
"Just say you are sorry and we will forget all about it"
"No, I must tell you all. Yesterday my eyes fell on your girlfriend..."
"Okay, okay. Just apologise."
"No, i must make a confession. As i looked at her, i had this terrible thought, 'God grief, I've never seen such an ugly woman in my whole life."